Discouraged by your Diabetes?

Type one diabetes can be exhausting.

This may sound like a stupid statement to many diabetics out there because of course we all know how tiring it is to deal with our diabetes on a daily basis. It is so easy to feel discouraged when your blood sugars aren't in range, or your pump is malfunctioning, or simply by checking your blood sugar for the seventh or eighth time today. I get it, I really do. There is nothing about taking care of your own type one diabetes, like many of us have to do while we're in college that is easy. If any of you are like me, you like to pretend that you have it all under control and that living life with type one diabetes is no big deal. Well, it is a big deal. No one really knows how much effort you have to put into taking care of yourself. This probably sounds a bit dramatic to anyone without T1D, but I don't think it's possible to fully understand the life of a diabetic unless you are one. 

I want all of my fellow type one diabetics to realize that it’s okay to feel discouraged every once and a while about your diabetes. It's bound to happen eventually throughout your life long trip with diabetes. However, just because you're discouraged, it does not mean that you get to give up. Please don't give up. After a couple years of having type one diabetes, it just became part of my life and I stopped paying as much attention to it as I did when I was first diagnosed. When this happened, I started forgetting to take insulin for food I was eating, or just didn't feel like testing my blood sugar before a meal because it was an inconvenience. At my next endocrinology visit when my A1C had jumped drastically, I realized that my new habits were very bad habits to develop. However, realizing the problem wasn't enough to actually make me change. At that point, I had simply become discouraged with my type one diabetes. I was annoyed that I had to deal with it all of the time so I subconsciously told myself that I didn't have to try if I didn't want to. This thought process is extremely dangerous. Ever since then, my A1C has always been slightly higher than what it should be. 

Every type one diabetic is probably going to go through a period in their lives where they feel just as discouraged about their diabetes. It is bound to happen after so many years of living your life with constant needle pricks. However, when it happens to you, I hope you deal with it better than I did. I understand that being in college is hard, and being in college with type one diabetes is even harder. It's okay to feel slightly discouraged every once and a while, but you can't let yourself stay that way. Always find a way to get yourself more motivated to take care of yourself again. For me, I just have to remember how bad I feel at my endo appointments when my A1C is bad to get myself motivated to start trying again. It’s okay to get discouraged, just make sure you’re always able to pull yourself out of it and get back to normal again. Well, as normal as life with type one diabetes can be. 

Awkward T1D Moments

Well, that was awkward...

I can't tell you how many times I've been put into an awkward situation because of my diabetes. However, I can tell you that it has happened way more times than I would like. What's life without a little awkwardness thrown in, right? Anyways, here are a few awkward moments that I've experienced so far. Enjoy!

Scenario One: I was in high school so everything about my being was awkward anyways, but let's add being type one diabetic on top of it all. I can remember one day as I was walking up the stairs between class periods, my pump tubing got caught on the hand railing. So, after taking about two steps, I get pulled to a painful stop on the staircase. Doesn't sound too bad, right? Except I forgot to mention that I was surrounded by other people that were also in the stairwell trying to get to class. To make it even worse, there was a line of people behind me trying to get up the stairs that I had to awkwardly push past, staying right against the railing, to get back to the bottom to unhook myself. I pretty much kept my head down the rest of the day.

Scenario Two: Once again, I was in high school so this is obviously going to be awkward. I was in a Wind Ensemble rehearsal a day before a concert when I can feel that my blood sugar is low. For some reason that I can’t remember anymore, I was too embarrassed to tell my director that my blood sugar was low and that I needed to leave and take care of it. So instead, stupid high school me just asked my director if I could go to the restroom. By the time I actually left rehearsal and checked my blood sugar, it was dangerously low. I believe somewhere in the thirties if I remember correctly. Since it was so low, it took a little longer for it to come back into the normal range again and for me to stop shaking. So, after eating glucose tablets, getting a juice box from my stuff in the office, and buying a Poptart from the cafeteria, I had to have been gone at least twenty minutes. As I’m walking back into rehearsal, I realize that everyone thinks that I've been in the bathroom this whole time. A twenty minute long trip to the restroom is definitely awkward.

Scenario Three: Dating with type one diabetes. In all honesty, I don’t have much experience with this, but I can only all of the awkwardness that would occur. The initial conversation of telling your date that you have type one diabetes, or not telling them and going low while on a date; it all makes me feel awkward just thinking about it. Hopefully with the right person, it won’t be awkward though. I'll have to update everyone on the severity of awkwardness if it ever happens.

Scenarios Four: I joined a sorority my very first semester at college, and I've been in love with it ever since. However, being type one diabetic throws a slight curve into things, once again. All of my sisters are very accepting, understanding, and willing to learn about T1D to support me; however, sometimes simply being diabetic is enough to be awkward. During initiation into my sorority, we have a beautiful ceremony and all of the sister are there to watch the new members finally become active members. During this ceremony, no cell phones are allowed. Well, silly me, I forgot that my doctor had set alarms on my pump to remind me to take insulin at certain times of the day around meal times. We were in the middle of initiation when I not only felt, but very loudly heard my pump start vibrating from inside my bra where it was hooked while I was wearing a dress. It felt like every just slowly turned and looked directly at me. I was mortified.

I can guarantee that I have suffered through so many more awkward moments than these four, but I simply do not have enough time to type them all out. Awkward moments happen to everyone, so don't be too embarrassed next time something awkward happens to you, even if it was a result of your diabetes. Life will go on and you will live long enough to suffer through even more awkward moments.

The Future and Type One Diabetes

Welcome to the future! Or maybe not...

If you’re anything like me, you probably don’t like to think about your future. The future is full of uncertainties and I don’t like it.  Recently, I've been thinking a lot more about having type one diabetes as a part of my future. It’s a really scary thing to think about if you've actually deeply thought about what could happen. Everyone has different fears about their futures, but the fears of type one diabetics are just a little more intense and always present.

I feel like many of the fears that I have about being a type one diabetic in the future are the same across the T1D community. Personally, I worry a lot about the effects of my blood sugars on my internal organs. I vividly remember my endocrinologist telling me that if I don’t keep my A1C in the 6.0 range that my internal organs will get damaged and start to shut down. I’m assuming that he told me this to scare me into taking care of myself, which worked on some level, but it also created an everlasting fear throughout my life. I also worry a lot about passing my type one diabetes along to my children. Since scientists have found that type one diabetes is a genetic autoimmune disease, there is a high chance that it could be passed on to any children that I have. A final worry that I currently have is if I will be judged for my type one diabetes while trying to get a job in the future. As a junior in high school, I was not picked for a summer academic program due to my type one diabetes. During the interview process, they assumed that because I had fund raised for JDRF that I had diabetes (which is true), but their one question to me was whether or not I am able to take care of my diabetes on my own while I was at the program. I didn't think much of the question until I realized that the other twelve girls were getting asked legitimate questions like their future goals and why they wanted to attend the program. I worry that a similar thing may happen while trying to get a job.

As much as I worry about all of the complications that having type one diabetes can cause me in the future, I have a lot of hope about how life with T1D can be in the upcoming years. My brother likes to send me articles about advancements in cures for type one diabetes, and every time I read one, I get more excited about what may happen in the years to come. With as advanced as our technology is now, there are a lot of better ways to treat type one diabetes than there used to be. With this hope, even if a cure isn't close to being discovered, at least scientists are able to make ways of living with T1D more tolerable.

There’s a lot to think about concerning the future with type one diabetes. There’s so many things to worry about, along with the many things that we hope will happen. Don’t let your fears and worries ever overpower the hope that you have with how great life could be in the future with type one diabetes.

Traveling with Type One Diabetes

Trains, planes, and automobiles.

No matter which form of transportation you choose to travel by, controlling your diabetes is going to be slightly more difficult than normal. I've been a type one diabetic for seven years now so I've done some traveling since I've been diagnosed. Nothing is scarier than being stuck on a bus with a really high blood sugar and a full bladder, or going low while everyone else on the trip is sleeping and you’re trying to test and treat the low without waking anyone else up. With being in college, I obviously go on a lot of bus trips with classmates for tours which is where I gained most of my experience on traveling with type one diabetes. I know I don’t have much experience with traveling with type one diabetes and the various forms of transportation, but here are some tips that are useful for traveling in general.

Pack extra supplies. Always, always, always, ALWAYS have extra supplies with you when you’re travelling such as test strips, syringes, site changes if you use a pump, and most importantly, insulin. There is nothing worse than being in a new city and realizing that you don’t have something that you need to take care of your diabetes. Then you have to try to contact your endocrinologist’s office, find a close enough pharmacy, get a prescription called in, and then actually go and pick it up. It’s annoying and slightly embarrassing to deal with.

Plan for emergencies. You have no idea what may happen. Are you ready for an unexpected low? You never know how much you might have to walk so make sure you have enough glucose tablets on hand to treat multiple lows. What if your pump site accidentally gets ripped out? Do you have your extra supplies with you or packed in your suitcase under the bus or with the rest of the luggage on a plane?

Plan ahead. Make sure you have enough supplies to last you the whole trip. This should really just be common sense but just in case it’s not, here’s how to plan ahead for your trip. Know exactly how many days you will be gone and pack your supplies accordingly. If you use a pump, figure out how many times you will have to change your site and pack that many changes plus extras. Going back to packing enough supplies, you don’t want to run out in the middle of your trip and have to go through the steps of getting more supplies while you’re out of town.

Make sure someone you’re traveling with knows that you have type one diabetes and how to help you if you need something. This is extremely important because if there’s an emergency with your diabetes, they need to know how to help you. They need to know what a low blood sugar looks like, how to treat it, and what to do if you pass out from the low. They also need to know how to help you treat a high blood sugar if it’s so high that you are getting physically sick and can no longer take care of it yourself.

Make sure that you research more specific traveling tips before you go on a trip. Traveling with diabetes can be tricky, but it doesn't have to ruin your trip if you pack extra supplies, plan for emergencies, plan ahead, and make sure someone knows how to help you.

"Stupid" Questions about Diabetes

All of the ridiculousness...

Does it hurt? How are you diabetic if you’re not fat? Are you allowed to eat that? Is that a pager? How much sugar did you have to eat to get diabetes? Can I watch you test your blood sugar? Will you check my blood sugar? Do you have the good or bad kind of diabetes? Why can’t you just take pills for your diabetes like my grandpa does? So, you have, like, a lot of needles?

I know I can’t be the only type one diabetic that has been asked any one of these ridiculous questions. Actually, I can’t be the only type one diabetic that has been asked multiple of these questions. As ridiculous as these questions sound to those of us with diabetes, the people asking them have no idea how absurd they sound. As much as I like making fun of these people, their questions don’t actually bother me. I know they’re just curious, so instead of laughing and halfheartedly answering, I actually take the time to explain the answer. Even if they don’t really care about the answer, I’m going to take any chance I can get to educate people about type one diabetes. Since I obviously can’t answer everyone’s questions, I would like to answer a couple of the “stupid” diabetes questions that I get a lot.

1. “Are you allowed to eat that?” Why yes, actually I am! As a type one diabetic, I am allowed to eat whatever I want. Granted, I should follow a healthy diet like everyone else, but I do not have any diet constraints because I am diabetic. Thanks for the concern though, it’s nice to know you care!

2. “Do you have the good or bad kind of diabetes?” I wouldn't go as far as saying that either type of diabetes is worse than the other because neither are good, but I happen to have type one diabetes. Type one is the kind that is life long and has to be managed through insulin shots, while type two can typically go away through the implementation a strict diet and exercise plan. (Side note: I really appreciate this question because at least it shows that they know there are two different types of diabetes.)

3. “Is that a pager?” (Insert controlled chuckle here) No, it isn't a pager, it’s my insulin pump. I’m a type one diabetic so I’m hooked up to an insulin pump all the time so it can act like an external pancreas for me since my internal one doesn't produce insulin. (Side note: I honestly do have to laugh at this question, especially since I've been asked it multiple times. Who actually uses a pager anymore? Come on now.)

4. “Does is hurt?” No, it doesn't really hurt anymore. I’m pretty much use to it by now. (Side note: This is such a loaded question and it’s extremely hard to answer. What exactly are they referring to? The shots? The finger pricks? Life with type one diabetes in general? Well whatever they’re asking about, you don’t want to answer with yes because then they’ll pity you, but saying that it doesn't hurt at all will make you look like you’re trying too hard. In all honesty, I think simply saying that you’re used to it is a safe route to choose because it’s right in the middle. It says, “Yeah, of course all of these needles hurt, but I don’t have much choice in the matter so there’s no reason to dwell on it.”)

I’m sure there have been a ton of other questions that my fellow type one diabetics have been asked, but these are a few of my favorites to answer. Feel free to comment any of the “stupid” diabetes questions you've been asked and how you answered them!

Battling your Endo Visits

Stupid Endocrinologists...

I feel like most type one diabetics have a very love-hate relationship with their endocrinologists. Right before and right after my visits with my endo, I really hate him. More than anything. But during those magical weeks or months between my visits, I think he’s a pretty great guy! Then I have to go for another visit and the whole cycle starts over again. I don’t really know many other type one diabetics, but I feel like this is probably a very common feeling across the diabetic community. However, through my rage and anger, I’ve come to realize three things and my endocrinologist: it’s not his fault, he’s just doing his job, and he knows more than us.

It’s not our endocrinologist’s fault that we have type one diabetes. He didn’t attack my pancreas and make it stop producing insulin. Although, if he did, I really would have a reason to hate him! Type one diabetes sucks… Anyways, I promise that your endocrinologist did not have anything thing to do with you being diagnosed with diabetes either. Actually, just to be clear, no one had anything to do with you being diagnosed! Auto immune diseases are just stupid.

They’re just doing their job; but unfortunately, their job sucks. Well, they might like it, I don’t really know. All I know is that almost all of their patients probably think their job sucks. However, no matter how much we resent our endocrinologist for telling us how to live our lives, they are honestly just trying to do their job and help us lead a healthier life with type one diabetes. They didn’t spend thousands of dollars and hours to be a doctor just so people would hate them. No. Our endocrinologists actually want to give us advice which might sound a whole lot like criticism, but is actually useful and important information that we need to listen to.

Wait. You mean as teenagers and young adults in college, we don’t know everything?? Sure we’re the ones that actually live and breathe type one diabetes, but our endocrinologists have actually studied the endocrine system and know the ins and outs of diabetes. No matter how much we fight them and resist their help, there is no denying the fact that they will always be smarter than us and know more about type one diabetes then us. Unless of course you decide to be an endocrinologist as well; if so, feel free to correct me when that happens. Until then, just accept that they know more than us, listen to them, and move on.

No matter how much you despise going to your visit with the endocrinologist, remember not to take anything they tell you personally. They are not there to purposefully hurt or offend you, I promise. I can tell you this from experience. I use to leave my endo appointments in tears because I thought they were calling me a terrible person for not having perfect blood sugars all the time. I was wrong. Very wrong. Our endocrinologists honestly just want to help us live healthier lives with type one diabetes. Seriously, the next time you’re fuming after seeing your endo, remember that it’s not their fault, they’re just doing their job, and they knows more than us.

Stop the Stigma!

Please!

In light of November being Diabetes Awareness Month, I'd like to take this chance to urge everyone to please stop the stigma that surrounds type one diabetes.  As diabetics, we all know what being diabetic entails and the differences between type one and type two diabetes; however, this isn't common knowledge to everyone. Before I explain the stigma that I mentioned earlier, here is a brief overview of the two type of diabetes. I hope this will help people understand why the stigma is such a big deal to those of us with type one diabetes.

Type one and type two are the most common types of diabetes. Type one diabetes (the type that this blog is about) is also called juvenile diabetes since it is most commonly diagnosed at a young age. For example, I was diagnosed at the age of twelve. Type one diabetes is an auto immune disease which means that the immune system attacked cells in the pancreas, causing it to stop producing insulin, the hormone necessary to regulate the body's blood sugar. Scientists have yet to discover why the immune system is attacking the pancreas, which is the reason that there is no cure yet. Since there is no cure, there are only ways to treat type one diabetes such as insulin injections or through an insulin pump.

As for type two diabetes, it is quite different than type one diabetes. Type two is more common in the older adults; however, with the increase in childhood obesity, it is starting to appear in juveniles as well. Unlike type one diabetes, the pancreas of a type two diabetic is still able to produce insulin, but due to their high body fat content, their bodies cannot absorb the insulin that it needs. In many cases, type two diabetes can be cured through diet and exercise to lose the weight which will hopefully allow the body to start absorbing the insulin again. In slightly more severe cases, a type two diabetic might be put on an oral medication, or even insulin injections at its most severe level.

Now that we have established the differences between type one and type two diabetes, the stigma will make more sense. Many people who are uneducated about diabetes and the two types often make assumptions about what being a diabetic means. It is because of this that the stigma exists. People assume that anyone with diabetes, either type one or type two, is diabetic because they're overweight. It doesn't matter what the size of the person is, but people assume that if someone is diabetic, it is because they're overweight or because they ate too much sugar at one point in their life. This is incredibly insensitive to type one diabetics. We had no control over getting diabetes and implying that we did is actually quite offensive. 

Along those same lines, jokes about diabetes are also highly offensive. I can't count the amount of times I've heard someone say that they'd get diabetes if they ate one more cookie, or that there's so much sugar in something that they'll get diabetes from eating it. I understand that the people making these jokes often don't actually know what diabetes is, but they need to realize how rude these jokes are and how incredibly offensive they are to diabetics. These jokes are filled with misconceptions diabetes, specifically type one diabetes. All they do is feed the stigma that is around surrounding those of us with type one diabetes. 

This may not seem like a big deal to non-diabetics, but to those of us who have to live with the daily blood sugar tests, finger pricks, injections, high and low blood sugars, and long term effect of diabetes like possible organ failures or the loss of feelings in limbs due to nerve damage, we take this unfortunate stigma very seriously. I urge everyone to consider how much their words can offend someone, even if they aren't meant to do so, and please STOP THE STIGMA that type one diabetics are plagued with. Our disease is already challenging enough, please don't challenge our patients as well. :)